Stop Thinking Brain!

Ugh last night was one of my insomnia night. Once it’s 11pm I lay in bed and try to go to sleep by watching my favorite tv show called “King of Queens.” When the show starts my eyes begin to shut slowly and my brain stops thinking for that moment, but then once the show ends I’m awake once again. From there on out I literally see every hour from 2am till 6am pass by. I can’t for the life of me get my head to stop spinning and fall asleep again. I don’t know why, but every time it’s time to sleep my brain starts thinking of a million things. I could be thinking of all the things I want to get done the next day, presents I want to buy, how certain people are doing, if I should work again or not, am I ever going to be on remission with my lupus, how long am I going to live for, will I wake up in the morning and etc. I bet you already have a headache just from reading all of that. It’s not that I’m not tired it’s just when I go to my bed and I’m alone I start to think of all of those things plus more. I can’t help myself. 

I’ve tired melatonin and other sleeping pills, but that does not work for me. NOTHING works for me. My body is immune to all of that and it sucks big time. Every night once I wake up and can’t fall back to sleep I put my favorite tv show back on, but this time through Youtube on my cell and I have a 40/60% chance of it knocking me out again. It will only work if my brain isn’t going a million miles an hour, which rarely happens. The only time I sleep for a little bit and it feels like hours for me, is when I’m induced with anesthesia for surgery that I’m about to have. I believe pretty soon that isn’t going to work for me either or I’ll need a higher dose than normal because during one of my latest surgery I woke up, but never realized it thank god. When I was told that of course I freaked out.

I don’t think it’s too much to ask for a good nights sleep. I’m suppose to have at least 6 to 8 hours of sleep every night because of my SLE. I purposely don’t sleep during the day, so I can sleep all throughout the night and sometimes that don’t even work. I need my rest, so I can continue on fighting these battles that I’m face with on the daily. I’m open for suggestions on helping me to sleep.